Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
