Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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