We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
