Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
