And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
