I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
