2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
