Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
