I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
