You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
