Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
