The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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