glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
