at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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