why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
