is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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