Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
