is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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