Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
