I wanna bring you to show and tell
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
