So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
