went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
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Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
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I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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