No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
