I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
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You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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