Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
