I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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