No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize