Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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