I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
