Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I need a burrito and a hug.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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