I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
