Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
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