please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize