I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
