david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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