Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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