I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
