talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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