He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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