I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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