I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You ate ashes out of my bong
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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