So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
