i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
