If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
