My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...