Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
