R you on birth control?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.