Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.

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(585): View more from New York

Congratulations on your moose knuckle.

(614): View more from Ohio

Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.

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(815): View more from Illinois

It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.

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(713): View more from Texas

I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(505): View more from New Mexico

They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.

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(619): View more from California

Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,

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(716): View more from New York

We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present

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