Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
