I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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