My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
