I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
