I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
