Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize