Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
