this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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