I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
