We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
3 2 1 whiskey
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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