but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
