just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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