So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
