I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
