mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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