i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you win again, gameday.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
