id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
